Step 1: Be Clever

The year is 2010. Apple is ruling the world as evidenced by their invention of the ipad( and kidneys?!) and people are reading books on a thing the size of a cell phone. So in this day in age it is obvious that in order to be a good pervert you've got to come to the table with something worthwhile. That one thing? Wit. I mean who can resist the smarts? Albert Einstein was essentially a man-whore,(I'm sure he got a lot of ass) and his formula for what ever that "E" thing wasn't shit either. THAT means that in order for YOU to reach your pervy goal you have to impress your target with quick and interesting conversation. It goes a little something like this:


Target: Hey
You: Hay is for horses, but in some places of the world it is for people too...

Okay yes I know that it seems as if this conversation would give you a one way ticket to creepyland but stay with it. You've intrigued you're prey you just got to get them closer to the bait.

Target: umm.. okay. That's odd... do people really eat hay?

SEE! I told you. They want to know if you are the telling the truth. Of course you don't have a shit of a clue if you are but they don't need to know that! You've still got to keep with it.

You: Yeah Sure! It's chock-ful of B-vitamins haha.

Did you see the haha? Yeah I know you did. Usually typing chuckles are pretty stupid but in this instance they indicate that you are trying to be humorous and is usually reciprocated...

Target: haha.
(see?)

You: I'm sorry, for that shitty attempt of a joke. I was trying it out. But at least now I know not to use it in public.

Self deprecation is usually always good. With this you can tell which way the conversation is going. If the target comes to save you from yourself you've got them.

Target: haha, no it's fine! Lames jokes are awesome!.

OR..

Target: Haha, yeah.. but hey who knows it might work with someone else :)

BUT...

Sometimes your target could care less.

Target: yeah....

OR...

Target: You know what go fuck yourself...

There are always those people out there that no matter how hard you try you will never be able to get them to warm up to you and that's fine. Cut your losses and peace out. You will never be in short supply of targets. But always be sure to stay quick on your feet and watch where the conversation is going. And who knows you might be on your way to Cybering! ( before you get all angry read this: disclaimer) But remember: A Good Perv is the one who isn't afraid to deny it!!! Good Luck.